My Daughters

This is for my girls, Rachel and Elizabeth.

The days you girls were born have been the two happiest days of my life. The best thing I have ever done was to become your mother.

I know I have not always been the mother you would have me to be, but I hope I was always a good mother to you.

I know I didn't teach you everything you need to know, but I hope what I did teach you was enough to get you started. The rest I know will come with living life.

I know I can no longer be the center of your world, but I hope you will let me be (even if only a little) a part of your life for the rest of mine.

I know you can do it without my help. You are like you mother strong and stubborn and very independent. But you are also intelligent and good at making the right decisions.

To hear you Grandfather tell it I have never been able to do anything right. Well I say just look at you two girls and what you have become, the directions you have taken. I am so proud of  both of you. I think I have done two things right in the short time I have been here.

One is Rachel

and the

Other is Elizabeth

Always remember no matter who you are, who you were or who you will become...

I will unconditionally love you now and forever, until the end of time and beyond.

Rainy Days And Mondays Always Get Me Down.

Rainy days and Mondays by the Carpenters

A new beginning

Mondays, this a chance to have a good week, to succeed at something, to please God, to try something new, to make a new friend, to do something good for yourself, your family, your friends, to try again, to set a goal, to reach your dream, to start over, to move on, to move up, to take a step back, to take a step forward, for beginnings.

Another Day...

Isn't this a great day? The sun is shining and we are alive for God to bless.

I have this solid black cat. Her name is Black Pepper. I just call her Pepper. I have never had a cat that came to their name, but Pepper does. She is a tiny little thing, only about 8 lbs. When I am on the computer, which is most of the time, she is sitting between me and the keyboard. Usually that is okay but sometimes I need full access to the keyboard. It seems that I am continually picking her up and putting her on the floor. You know I would miss her if she were not sitting there.

When I first get up in the morning she meows until I pet her. She never seems to get enough. After a while she will quite down and either sit with me at the computer or go to the bedroom and sleep. She prefers to sleep on the bed. Well that is where your suppose to sleep, right?

When I get home, no matter how long I have been gone, she will be waiting by the door meowing letting me know that I have missed some quality petting time.

She is the most friendly cat I have ever known. She will go to anyone she thinks might pet her. I remember in 2004 my sister and her two kids came to visit from way out of town. I was living at our Mothers house at the time and Pepper was with me. I remember that my niece and nephew were so surprised that if you pat your chest and say "come here Pepper" and Pepper would jump up in your lap. They thought that was really cool.

I know that if I ever need some closeness with a fellow creation that all I have to do is pat my chest and say "come here Pepper" and she is there for me. I can always count on her. Her needs are few yet she gives so much without complaining.

I'm really glad to have her in my life. Friends are always welcome and she is my best friend. I would love to have more friends like her.

I love you, Pepper

Have a great day!

Life As We Know It

Life, a gift or a curse?

Some days I see the gift and some the curse. Today is the curse and the gift.

The curse! I'm unemployed again. It doesn't look as if I will ever find a job that I will be able to stay with for more than just a few weeks.

I'm thinking about changing my career path again. Computers though very fascinating are not getting me very far. So after talking to my daughter Rachel, I'm thinking about going into a medical field. She is never unemployed more than just a day. When she gets frustrated at an employer she moves on to another job without missing a beat. She is working as a Certified Medical Assistant in a nursing home.

She said that some nursing homes will pay you to get a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant). She said that the way she got started was to call nursing homes and find one that would train you. This sounds like something that I should do.

The question is do I have the courage to make this kind of change in my life. I'm not brave like Rachel. She is the bravest person that I know. I don't feel very brave. All it takes is a phone call or two to find the nursing home that will train me. I just need to pick up the phone.

Oh and the gift...

I am alive and it is a beautiful day. My granddaughter Abagail talked to me on the phone today, always a good day when that happens.

New Years Resolutions

1. Loose Weight!!

Most people have this on their list of resolutions for every year. I am no different. I have had a problem with my weight all of my life. I am on a perpetual diet. It would be nice just once to wake up and not be thinking about what I can and cannot have to eat during the day. I can't even imagine what life would be like without worrying about food.

The most I have weight was 370 lbs. That was in the spring of 2010. In the ensuing months since I have dropped 115 lbs then gained back 15 lbs. I do not want to ever be that heavy again. I have worked hard to get the 100+ pounds off and I still have another 100 that I want to loose. If I can just hold out for another year I should be down to my goal weight.

I'm just afraid that I have given up and that I will go back to the 370 lbs. I had  bariatric surgery a year ago and I don't want to mess that up. I MUST stay with this and get the weight off.

To all those people out there that are fighting this same disease, just know that you are not alone, that I am with you. Together we can make this work. Just remember that with Gods help all things are possible.